The Always Evolving and Partially Unwritten Five-Year Plan


If you have a student that asks you what a fox looks like so he might draw it on his food chain, you might say that it looks like a cat, with a bushy tail, pointy nose, and big ears.

Then, if the student still has a blank look on his face, you might remember that for most children in your class English is not their first language, and being the superior, accommodating teacher that you are, you might tell the student that you would be happy to pull up a picture of a fox on the internet so that he can see what it looks like.

Then you might bring the child over to the computer and type in “fox” on google images.

Then what pops up on the screen, might not be an actual “fox,” the creature that lives in the forest, chows down on small rodents, and is often seen as the villain in fairy tales, but rather what might be known in some circles as a “foxy lady,” complete with the towel covering her girly parts, red pouty lips and carefully tousled hair.

If that were to happen, you might instinctively hit the small x in the corner of the window to close it quickly, but if you do that too many times, you know what might happen? The whole computer might freeze.

If the whole computer freezes with said “foxy lady” on it, you might quickly turn the whole computer screen around and begin describing what the fox looks like once again, repeating almost verbatim what you said about two minutes before.  The 6-year-old boy might stand there with a confused look on his face because:

a) The Foxy lady that just entered his life for the first time.

b) His teacher just repeated herself like a crazy person.

Either way, things wouldn’t be going too well at this point, and you can already picture conversations with angry parents, principals and other important people that might not see the humor in the impromptu lesson about how to search on the internet to get what you want to pop up. So, you might ask if the child’s mommy was going to pick him up today after school, and that you needed to talk to her.

The parent might come in after school looking busy and rushed and you might try and explain to her what happened in a humorous, “isn’t-this-going-to-be-a-funny-story-to-tell-to-his-dad-tonight-after-the-kids-are-in-bed!” kind of way, and thankfully, she might see it as such. She might actually laugh so hard that tears well up in her eyes and you would for sure thank God that someone has a sense of humor and promise yourself to cut her kid some slack when he forgets how to tie his shoe, which way the letter “d” goes, or asks for 100th time that day “when is recess?”

And, you might say a silent prayer that he doesn’t remember the day he asked his teacher what a “fox” looked like. 🙂


One response

  1. Dennis Gilbert

    The untold stories of teachers! That is too funny!

    March 20, 2011 at 12:06 PM

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